In about 30 days, I'm supposed to quit sugar for good. When I started this plan many moons ago, this seemed feasible and I liked the idea of a period of preparation, of mourning, of coming to terms. But what this period has actually been feels more like a gorging. Without meaning to, lovely husband and I have been a bit out of control. We're eating like crap, we're off budget entirely, we're staying up late, etc. It's not pretty. And so as it gets closer and closer, I'm avoiding talking or thinking about it.
Interestingly, there are just a couple people who know about it and so they ask me about it from time to time. And it's always a good thing--never to question or push on me. Just to wonder about what it all will mean. The idea of cutting sugar out is a bit enormous to imagine. And once upon a time, I was going to use this space to determine exactly what it means to me. With 30 days until the big day, it seems I best get back on the horse.
Now, at the same time (and this isn't to say I'm trying to get out of this, but you be the judge), a recent visit with my therapist led to a fascinating revelation about a new treatment called EMDR. Apparently, this is a kind of talk therapy that involves re-connecting your brain patterns from bad to good. In a nutshell, that is. As I understand it, your brain makes connections from Day One between various events and what your reaction to that event will or should be. So early on, you connect A to B. And then throughout your life, when you have a situation that reminds you of A, your go-to response will be B. EMDR will allegedly help you re-draw a line so that instead of going automatically to B, you can go to C--a new, alternate response that is healthier and essentially 'unhooks' you from your prior constraints. And, to boot: you do all this by talking and following some rapid hand gestures with your eyes. I guess.
As she told me about it, my first and still primary response is that it sounds too good to be true. My German work ethic says that if I just have to follow someone's hand movements, then it's gotta be bunk. But I talked to at least one person who said her dad did it 25 years ago and it changed his life. So there's that.
I go in to talk to the EMDR lady on January 12. Five short days before I try to undertake this challenge that is the rest of my life. I'll report back. Eventually. Because my German work ethic demands it. Even if I'm trying to avoid you.
