Gauntlet.

Having thrown down this here proverbial gauntlet in a completely private forum that I have so far only mentioned in passing to my husband, I find myself thinking more about all the sugars to combat.

Leaving "sweets" behind is one thing. I can imagine doing that. It'd be kind of sad. Especially because my kid is little and it will feel like I'm taking something away from him by not enjoying little treats with him along the way. But isn't that A CROCK I'm telling myself! Wow, I can contort things just that fast...hence a need for accountability. My kid doesn't need me to eat his popscicle to know I love him.

But food conveys messages. Especially in our family. Our son is still a bit of a picky eater creeping up on 2 years old and so sometimes meal times are a challenge. So when he eats something that one of us has made, we're both over the moon. Not just because he's ingested something besides chicken nuggets and bananas, but because He Likes My Food.

But yes, so sweets, I can fathom parting with sweets. But the rest...oh, you evil temptresses, I know you want me as much as I want you.

I had 3 cocktails on Friday night--more than I've had in ages. And they were delicious. And they were STRONG. It was fun and my inhibition was down and I was with a good friend and...am I giving up that occasional alcoholic splurge? My job is one that doesn't allow for the 'letting of hair down' in too many settings. One could argue (and I still am, with myself) that it was a poor choice to have those 3 delightful cocktails on Friday. The setting was perhaps not as appropriate as others. But goodness, it felt FUN. I drank pink drinks with a middle-age gay man and I haven't done that in YEARS. Doing that...well, it feels like me in a way that much of my life doesn't relate to anymore.

Maybe that's part of this blogging too. To have a forum in which I talk about all the mes I have been so I can figure out which person I'm about to become.